What Good Are Razors?
by C.B. Magique
Summary: A one-night-stand ends badly and finds Kidd on the wrong side of a chainsaw. TLxEK


_Reuploaded for M_

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece**

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"_I", "love" and "you" are the three most dangerous words on the open sea. _

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None of the Supernovas had expected to meet each other again very quickly after a narrow escape from Sabody Archipelago. They didn't bother to even express an interest in looking for each other on Fishman Island. The visit was brief anyway.

The alcohol down there was watery and weak. Eustass Kidd didn't bother to follow the Log Pose, he ordered his navigator to just take the ship to nearest rock jutting out of the sea with a decent tavern. And when they did Kidd ran into one of the last people he thought he'd ever see. He didn't realise that they were there at first but as the night wore on and the group got a little rowdier it was a bit hard not to give them _some_ attention. The Heart Pirates had followed their Log Pose to this island and by some uncanny coincidence ended up in the same bar. Trafalgar Law looked like he was enjoying himself, laughing as though something really, really funny had just happened. Kidd's eyebrow twitched. He was getting a bit drunk too and he wanted to do something violent. The rest of the Kidd Pirates noticed him start to reach his 'touchy mode' and slightly increased their distance from him accordingly.

Killer didn't drink (and thus Kidd believed he didn't do anything fun) and had kept his eyes on the Heart Pirates the whole time. They'd all been there a while and he knew an awful lot more than anyone else realised, like that his crewmate beside him was going to throw up upon downing the next drink and he didn't want to be there when that happened. He was about to make the excuse that he needed to relieve himself when he saw Trafalgar Law get up and start moving towards their table. He kept his wary eye on him. Looking at the empty keg in his hand, he probably just going to get a refill but passing the Kidd Pirates' table wasn't the most direct way to do it. He glanced at Kidd who had his back to Law and didn't notice. Law stopped only a couple of feet away. Kidd seemed to notice now and his upper lip was starting to pull back. In Killer's mind everything had fallen silent by this point. He waited with baited breath for Law to make his move. But he didn't. He just turned to leave for the bar, leaving Kidd and his crew alone and allowing Killer to relax a bit. On his way, he bumped a man coming back past the table with a full pint. The drink splashed onto Kidd's shoulder and down his side and the glass smashed on the floor. Killer wished he'd held his breath a while longer.

The things that happened next were so fast Killer didn't have time to snap his fingers. Kidd got up and punched that guy out, the crewmate beside Killer threw up in his lap and someone threw a glass at Kidd's head. More glass throwing ensued before an all out brawl started up. Rather than become a part of something so ridiculous Killer ducked under the table and removed his trouser covers, leaving them in the lap of his crewmate who was now passed out. He made his way under various airborne items until he'd found the back door and slipped out into the backstreet. It wasn't long before Bepo also came through that door, holding in his mouth a huge steak that Killer could have sworn he saw on someone else's plate.

"You don't drink?" he asked.

"Bears have issues with aggression," Bepo explained, taking a bite of his stolen steak.

"It doesn't stop the Captain," Killer replied, referring to Kidd.

Inside there was blood on the floor and one person was already dead, stuck full of metal cutlery that Kidd had hurled at him. Law had remained at the bar to keep drinking. He demanded another refill from the bartender. The poor man had two things to worry about: the chaos in his tavern and the state of the only man who had opted to keep drinking. Law was starting to get the jitters. The bartender had only filled Law's keg halfway when he got a fright from the sudden appearance of Kidd and dropped the bottle. Kidd threw an arm around Law's shoulders and brandished a knife in his face. Law pouted and furrowed his eyebrows.

"That's not what I call a refill," he complained while looking into the amber contents of his drink.

"Hey, stranger," Kidd hissed in his ear. "What's with the coolness? Feeling lucky tonight or something?"

"Just a little," Law replied, downing his beverage and wiping his lip, not dissuaded by the knife in the least. His eyes moved in their sockets, staring at Kidd critically. "You?"

"Don't fuck with me," Kidd growled, pressing the blade against Law's throat.

Law laughed through his nose. "Man, Mista! You're sloshed!"

"You're the one with the jitters," Kidd pointed out, taking the empty keg and smashing it over the head of the man with a steak knife charging at him from the right. He grabbed Law by the back of his shirt and dragged him away from the bar and out into the night air, saying: "C'mon, 'Mister Lucky', let's see how lucky you can get tonight."

"Can we steal stuff?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Okay... just hang on a minute," Law slurred, staggering over to the wall. He heaved until he was throwing up his own stomach lining. Kidd was willing to bet the guy could barely see let alone see _straight_. When Law finally straightened up he pointed to a building slightly taller than others on the next street over. "Let's go there."

The building was a hotel and a ritzy one too. It was close to one a.m. in the morning and the lights in all of the rooms were out. Law staggered up to a window on the ground floor and fell over before he got there. He could barely walk. Kidd also approached the window and peered inside. It was an empty room with heavy drapes and a king sized bed. He forced the catch open with several metal projectiles using his magnetic powers and opened the window, dragging Law in with him. He dumped the other captain on the floor and shut the window. He drew the curtains and turned on a reading lamp.

"So… what do you want to steal?" Kidd asked. Law stood up and looked around as if he wasn't sure where he was.

"I dunno… the bed sheets?"

Kidd raised an eyebrow. Of course, Law hadn't really made a sentient decision when he said he wanted to do this. Although, silk bed sheets were a tempting steal.

"You don't have a better idea?"

Kidd glared at Law. "Anything's better than wasting my time, _Law_."

"Then hurry up and think of something better to do."

Kidd grabbed him by the front of his shirt and forced him onto the mattress. "You really do need to work on your manners. If you want to screw someone it's considered assault when you lead them on." Kidd straddled his fellow captain and reached under his coat for the buckle of the leather belt over his shoulder.

"No, it's considered assault when you get aggressive."

Kidd dropped his belt on the floor and slid his coat off his arm. Law just casually removed his hat and tossed it to the bedpost. He missed.

"Don't think you're going down to get it now," Kidd growled, picking up one of Law's hands and prompting him to stroke his chest and abs. Law followed the prompts and added his other hand, fingering Kidd's nipples until they were pert. Kidd grunted and suddenly dived for Law's neck just as he was rising. The nose of Kidd's goggles collided with Law's head. He hissed and drew away as blood started to drip from the cut.

"Damn, that hurt. Take them off!" Law didn't wait though, he pulled them off himself. Kidd immediately came back in latched onto Law's neck with his lips, leaving black smudges on his skin. In the meantime, Law's hands were carefully sliding around his sides, up his back and neck and into his hair. He felt Law lean in closer and breathe hot air onto the shell of his ear, making him shiver. His tongue followed, leaving a cool, wet path on his earlobe. Kidd nibbled a little harder and sucked fervently. Law's lips reached out to catch his ear and nibble lightly, making Kidd moan and shift position so that he was between Law's legs thrusting forwards. Law hummed something and his lips twitched into the slightest smile. His foot was scraping against Kidd's leg. It was irritating the redhead until he figured that Law was trying to take off his boots.

Kidd leaned back, admiring his handiwork on Law's neck and kicking off his boots. Law also found the opportunity to remove his footwear. He sat up and his fingers went under the hem of his shirt. Kidd seemed to be transfixed on each inch of skin that Law slowly revealed as he pulled off his shirt, sliding the material on his skin, inviting Kidd to stare. He had a black tattoo on his back identical to the shape on his forearms. He tossed it to the end of the bed and turned to Kidd with a smirk.

"You loser," Kidd muttered.

"How so?" Law asked, crawling over to straddle Kidd's lap. Kidd was taking note of the fact that he was on the bottom in this position and it irritated him. He tried not to let it bother him, though, firmly believing that by the end of the night, he would be the one to top Trafalgar Law and he'd brag about it too. Law started to untie Kidd's sash. He felt shivers where his sash slid off his skin. He was sure Law did that on purpose to sprout goosebumps or something – some fetish or obsession he might have, Kidd didn't want to know. Then the warm sash was thrown around his shoulders and Law pulled him in closer.

"Every time I look at you, you look more and more sober," Kidd finally replied. "I'm beginning to suspect foul play."

"I didn't think you stupid," Law answered, leaning in to put his lips on Kidd's neck in return. "But don't think you're gonna be tying anyone up with this thing," he murmured, throwing the sash away somewhere. It got hooked on a lamp where Kidd could easily reach it if he did decide to tie up his current partner. Kidd tried to hold back a moan and leaned back onto the pillows. Law's voice was like a caress on his skin. He had one of those higher pitched male voices but not quite high enough to be somewhat female

Law was starting to get a lot more involved: licking, kissing, nipping and breathing on his collar bones. He stopped wasting time; his hands were already on Kidd's pants undoing his fly. Kidd flipped him over so that he was back on top, between Law's legs. He pushed Law's hands away when the other captain tried to tug his pants down. He started to undo Law's trousers and pushed them down, met with no resistance other than Law thrusting his hips upwards into Kidd's. Kidd couldn't keep the moan down that time. He violently pulled Law's boxers off, ripping a hole in them, much to Law's annoyance. Kidd put his lips to junction between his neck and jaw to keep his partner focussed on the sex. He pulled down his own pants and underwear and went on the attack, flicking his thumbs over Law's nipples and nibbling on his ear. Law finally let out his first moan that night. It was quiet and Kidd didn't hear it but it was there. He thrust his hips into Kidd's again, rubbing their sex organs together. Kidd almost cried out but caught himself halfway. Law kept doing it, realising how powerful his ministrations were. Kidd grabbed him and held him down. Law didn't try to stop though. He lowered himself to run his tongue over Kidd's chest and nipple, making the redhead grunt again.

"Don't do that, you'll make me cum too early," Kidd told him, trying to sound angry but Law's tongue darting in and out over his other nipple made him sound elated.

Law ignored the comment. His hands crept down Kidd's back – Law purposely accentuated each fall of his fingers like a spiker walking. Kidd shuddered. One hand stroked his ass and grabbed it. The other snuck around the front to massage Kidd's balls. Kidd dropped his head and pushed his forehead into the pillow beside Law's head. Neither of them was a stranger to sex, that much was obvious but Kidd could tell; he could feel it in every touch that Law had this down to a fine art. Kidd had never bothered to spend this long in foreplay, he was the kind of man who liked it fast and liked to be the one dishing it. Law had effectively slowed him down to a walking pace and the pleasure he was feeling through it was driving him up the wall and onto the ceiling. He was boiling. It was a beautiful sensation but it was winding up under high pressure like an over tightened screw. Something had to come out:

"I love you…"

It took Kidd a while to realise he'd said it. Trafalgar Law pulled away from the nipple he was sucking on to look up at the redhead. His cocky grin told the world that he'd heard it. Until now, Law had been a bloody good actor. Kidd didn't understand it though.

"Why would you force yourself to puke out your own guts just to get in bed with someone?"

"Don't change the subject." Law grabbed Kidd by the head and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. Kidd didn't enjoy that as much as he enjoyed the stimulation of more private parts with Law's hands.

"You taste like spew."

"Your breath stinks. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?"

"I don't have to answer that. More importantly, how much did you really drink?"

"Less than you," Law retorted, getting frustrated with Kidd's sudden interest in conversation. He didn't show it, though; he just smirked up at Kidd's face. He watched Kidd's eyes widen and something akin to fear pulsing through them as Law went down, coaxing Kidd to lie on his back. He enjoyed seeing that. He stopped at Kidd's firm erection that was already leaking. The look seemed to intensify from there as Law wrapped his lips around the head. Kidd instinctively threw his head back but forced himself to look at Law and what he was doing.

"_Damn it_," he thought. "_Damn it all…_"

He was still quite confident that he was going to end up on top but not necessarily the one in control. Throughout his sex life it had seemed clear to him that a large force of dominating power came from whoever took the top: control. Law was smarter than that. The guy was more dutiful than most people Kidd chose to get into bed with. He was distracted from his thoughts when Law's head started to bob up and down his length. "_Fuck it all!_" Kidd didn't usually bother with things like blowjobs before sex but Law gave a pretty damn good one. He just relaxed into it. It only felt better. He was letting out disjointed wanton moans and gasps here and there and could feel Law's lips move when he smirked. He thought it appropriate to move down to the next step and started to deep throat his partner, earning the louder moans he wanted to hear at first. Kidd stubbornly tried to control himself and bit his lip to stop them flying out so openly but he couldn't stop the sound. It was like they were a simple automatic reaction to Law's actions; he couldn't stop them even if he tried.

He bucked his hips. Law was in control. Like hell would Kidd let this one little fact strip him of his right to take the top but Law was definitely in control. "_And he fuckin' deserves it_," Kidd thought humbly. He was proving it right now. Kidd was good at giving orders; Law was good at being in control.

But he wasn't going to admit defeat. He pushed himself up as far as he could while Law pleasured him with his mouth. Kidd reached over Law and pushed a finger into his opening. It was tight at first but loosened up substantially when Law relaxed. Kidd could tell that he'd done it this way before. Law pulled away, leaving a thin trail of saliva hanging from his lips.

"What's the matter? Eager?"

Kidd growled but wasn't going to admit that he wasn't the kind of guy who could climax twice in one night and if he was going to climax at all he wanted to do it during the best part. Law lay on his stomach next to Kidd and nodded his head. Kidd took the invitation and positioned himself at Law's entrance. He pushed in fast and listened to Law suck in a sharp breath. He smirked. Revenge is a bitch and Kidd thought that the pain was a fitting punishment for trying to control the situation that should rightfully belong to him. But Law took it in stride.

"What're you waiting for? Written instructions?"

Kidd frowned at that and thrust into him deep and hard. Law yelped. Kidd continued with what he was doing, only hitting the sweet spot every now and again and not enough for Law's liking. If Law was going to be like that, Kidd was going to be the same way. Law tried to move against Kidd in an attempt to feel more pleasure and was rewarded with results. Kidd didn't mind letting him have those results because the resulting moans and gasps drove him further towards his own climax. A wave of heat coursed through his body and he shuddered, releasing himself inside Law. Law tightened around Kidd and grabbed himself, trying to climax before Kidd pulled away. He came with a loud moan and spilled his seeds on the sheets below him.

Kidd pulled out and sat on the end of the bed. He kept his eyes averted from Law who went straight to the bathroom to clean up, limping and slightly unsteady on his legs. He got exactly what he wanted in the end. It was still dark, only half an hour had passed, according to the clock. Kidd felt like it only took five minutes. When Law returned, Kidd glared at him.

"Why?"

"So I could brag, why else?" Law replied nonchalantly. "And to see if you'd fall for me. Well, did you?"

Law grinned and Kidd felt foolish. Law's attitude was really grinding on his nerves.

"I certainly fell for something," Kidd snapped back.

Law put his underwear back on and tore the top sheet off the bed. He examined the hole in the hip of his boxers with a scowl. "Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome," Kidd replied from the other side of the door. He drowned out anything else Law might say with the sound of the shower running. He took his time in there, hoping Law would at least fall asleep or put his clothes back on and disappear out the window before he was finished. He came back to pleasantly find that Law was asleep under the thin sheet remaining on the bed cover. Kidd started to put his pants back on, wanting to leave quickly. He didn't want to face Law and his snide, sarcastic remarks in the morning. He looked at Law again and smirked. People looked so helpless when they were asleep. Their guard was down. Kidd wondered if Law actually trusted him enough to fall into a deep sleep without being murdered. He certainly wanted to do that. He had his knives and his gun, he had a something to strangle Law with; it would be too easy at this stage.

Kidd leaned over his one-night-stand and contemplated actually killing him for making him feel so foolish for pursuing the activity. Law looked young. Kidd had no idea how old the guy actually was but he was certain that sleep made him look much, much younger until he was under the guise of being a teenager. The only thing that kept the veil of maturity on his face was his facial hair. Eustass Kidd suddenly had a brilliant idea worthy of one of his best smirks. He ran back into the bathroom to see if they stocked a free shaving razor.

The Kidd Pirates took to the bar again later in the morning for one last drink before leaving the island. Their navigator was getting worried that the Log Pose would set if they remained any longer and tried to get them to move along but Eustass was adamant. Killer thought the captain was actually aiming to be drunk by the time they left.

"H-hey! My chainsaw!"

Killer turned to the front of the bar. Someone outside screamed in terror when the telltale whirr of an engine starting up could be heard. The swinging doors were sawed open and in the doorway stood... a teenager?

No, it was Trafalgar Law. He looked odd without his sideburns and his beard. Killer wondered briefly what had happened to him and turned to his captain. He had a vague idea when Kidd stared at Law in disbelief with wide eyes. The rest of the Heart Pirates were outside in the background, too afraid of their captain in this state to go after him and stop this.

"Eustass Kidd," he said in a low, dark voice, "I'm going to murder you."


End file.
